Sometimes I get a little personal here on the ol’ blog. I’m not very good at it really ~ I don’t consider myself a “blogger” per se, but every once in awhile, some of my stories come out mixed in between the stories I tell about other people through their images. Sometimes it just feels good to write. Even though today as I start, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how fast time goes. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. A lot of things have been happening at our house that have probably caused me to be thinking about this more lately. Like the fact that a couple of months ago, my husband, too young to be facing such a thing, suffered two strokes. He is doing marvelously, praise God! It all was quite scary, and I still can’t quite believe it happened, but they were minor, and we caught them, and he is taking his little baby aspirins and feeling fantastic. It is a bit bizarre since he really has been super healthy up until this point (we don’t really know what caused them), and some of you may know that I myself had a couple of hemorrhagic strokes followed by brain stem surgery a few years ago (actually, at the same time of year that my husband took his trip to the hospital ~ around my birthday ~ weird), so it is just crazy to me that now both of us have had this happen at such young ages. There’s got to be a funny saying in there somewhere… (a version of me telling my stroke story is actually on you tube if you want to hear some of the cool parts 😉 )
We also have been looking for a house. We’ve been renting a cute little cape cod since we moved to Illinois from California almost 3 years ago. While we absolutely love our neighborhood and the character of this place, the 5 of us are a bit on top of each other and ready to take on a little more space that we can call our own and make into our home. We had trouble finding something at first, but we think we found a great fixer-upper not very far from where we are currently ~ a solid home that just needs its 70’s decor and fixtures updated. I like blue, but the cobalt blue shag may have to go… It is so exciting to be thinking about how this could be a home we are in for years to come. We have moved every 3 to 4 years for the past 20 years. Time has kept on moving even though we haven’t really been digging our roots in any one place. I’m ecstatic to dig in some roots.
In looking for a house, I realized how our oldest is going to be going off to college so soon. That she really won’t have many years truly living at this new house. That feels so crazy strange. And makes me all the more just want to get in it fast and help her to build many memories there before she is off to school or wherever else her dreams take her. So that it feels like her “home” before she leaves, so she will always want to come back. *Sigh*… so enough about that for now.
So in thinking about all this sentimental, time passing quickly stuff, it just reminds me that I want to live intentionally. To take it all in. Maybe this is part of the reason I love photography so much ~ it freezes everything. Stops time in a way, which sometimes I wish I really could do, just for a few minutes anyway. Because as much as I treasure each moment and don’t want it to pass too quickly, I also know that what is coming next could be beyond my wildest dreams. And I have been given the opportunity to make the most with my time, with who I am, with what I do, and I sure as heck want to strive to make the best of it. To touch the most people that I can, to show the most love that I can, and to be as contagious as I can with all of that. Because sometimes, let’s be honest, its enough just to get through the day, right? Its hard to focus on anything else. But each day is a new day to try and make each moment count, because I have the power to do that, even though sometimes it feels like everything is out of control. It’s not.
Since this is a photography blog, I thought I would share this iPhone photo of my hubby and I last fall on our way to a costume party… because it is the most recent shot I have of the two of us together… I need to freeze us a little more often.
you guys, this is where I have been for the past 4 days. not moving. my poor children bringing me toast & birthday cake (I really wanted potato chips & cake, but we didn’t have any chips… why is it that only junk food sounds good when you have the flu?) on their long holiday weekend, & my sweet hubby bringing me Coke Zero (even though I haven’t had any pop in forever ~ again with the junk food). I am beyond happy to be feeling better, & I am getting off the couch today & venturing out!! my boys have one more day off of school, & we need to make a Target run, but hopefully we can do something fun after being cooped up in here forever (not that Target isn’t fun for me, you know, but the boys might like something else…)!! yay for Monday!!
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a Fabulous Friday Fav, and today I don’t have a yummy food or a shiny lipgloss, but just something that was filling my heart this morning. Very rarely do I just blog from the heart, only because I feel like it takes so much time when I don’t have it, or it takes so much out of me, and it takes words that I’m just not good at coming up with anymore (I used to be better at writing, back in the day… 😉 ). But for some reason this morning, I just felt a tug to write ~ like it would help heal a little. I’m missing my mom today. It’s not even a day that marks a special event or anything like that. I know I do think of her a lot when school starts up again ~ maybe because she was such a fabulous teacher and I just always associate school time with my mom, or maybe its because I always talked to her about school starting up for my kids and all that they were doing, or a combination of it all. I still ache just to call her up and ask her advice about friend drama with my boys at school (I thought only girls dealt with that?). She’s been absent from this earth for 5 years and somehow my brain still can’t grasp it. I have amazing joy that I will see her one day again, but I still just have days where the pain of missing her just sucks.
I know she was my mom, so I’m a bit biased ;), but she seriously was the best teacher ever. The best. No one compares in my book. She had the gift of making a kid feel loved, but letting them know she meant business and they respected her and thought the world of her. I mean, her name was Mrs. Smiley. Is that not the best teacher name in the world? And of course my sisters and I were the luckiest girls that we got to have her as our mom. I remember her making such silly faces at us and making crazy donkey noises. We would make spontaneous trips to the grocery store just to get a custard filled donut to eat on the ride home. And, oh, how she loved us. Even after I moved away from home, that hug that met me at the front door was magical. The best medicine, most comforting thing I have ever known… a warm flannel blanket and chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven can’t even touch those hugs. As I made pancakes this morning, I remembered one of my most favorite photos of her and I:
Don’t you just wish you could jump into photos sometimes?
We went back to school at our house this week! The guys started on Monday, but high school didn’t start until Wednesday, so I had to take our kids’ traditional back to school pics on two different days. The youngest was so stinking excited for this day ~ some of his friends had gone back to school earlier than we did, and he was jealous. The older two are over being excited about the first day, but they did seem a little happy to get back to seeing their friends everyday and some of those other fun things that school always brings 😉 I LOVE the fall and I do like getting back into the routine that comes with the school season, but I miss hanging out with these 3 all day…
She got a little back to school gift made by Mya Bruce Designs… such a perfect message…
Hope all you other back to schoolers had an awesome first day!